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Does Porn Decrease Sexual Enjoyment With My Partner?

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Laptop on a persons lap sitting in a bed

It really depends on several factors.  Here are some questions for you to consider:

Do you view porn by yourself or with your partner (if you have one)?

If you and your partner both enjoy watching porn together, it may enhance your relationship. If you always watch alone and masturbate while viewing actors on a screen, it may make a “real-life” encounter seem less enjoyable (at best) or downright disappointing (at worst). Your partner may seem inadequate when compared to the performers in carefully-scripted and rehearsed scenes. Sometimes porn sets unrealistic expectations (for performance, appearance, interactions, etc.) that are impossible for regular humans to achieve.

How frequently do you view porn?

If you aren't as interested in sex with your partner because you spend hours watching porn, it may harm your relationship. Consider spending more time with your partner, and less time watching porn. Some people view porn without any negative effects; others become compulsive porn consumers who have difficulty enjoying sex with their partners.

What type of images do you watch?

There are hundreds of porn genres (fetishes, racial categories, sexual orientations, sex acts,etc.). Porn is often sensational, demeaning, and frequently depicts power imbalances between partners. Is the porn you watch helping, or harming, your relationship with your partner?

How can you increase your sexual enjoyment?

Porn can be instructive and may enhance sex with a partner. Search for sex-positive flicks that depict erotic or“passionate” love. Choose film producers who portray respect, affection, consent, and equality. Again, if you feel that your porn use is negatively affecting your relationships, it may be time to take a look inside yourself and make some adjustments.


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SexTalk is written by health educators in the Health Promotion Department at Campus Health.